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There are about 2,000 personalities in the NFL.

And over half of them belong to Terrell Owens and Al Davis.

In one melodramatic week, T.O.'s bipolarity returned, the ghoulish Grand Inquisitor delivered his verdict, one running back was delivered from temptation and another (allegedly) was not.

NFL Week 5

Week 5 action

Redskins at Eagles

Seahawks at Giants

Titans at Ravens

Bears at Lions

Falcons at Packers

Colts at Texans

Chiefs at Panthers

Chargers at Dolphins

Bucs at Broncos

Bills at Cardinals

Bengals at Cowboys

Patriots at 49ers

Steelers at Jaguars

Vikings at Saints

Analysis

Whitlock: WRs are crazy
Schein: Andy Reid on Hot Seat
Schrager: Quarterly Report

Video

Strahan on Giants
Marvez on Cowboys

Photos

Week 5's top moments
Raiders' coaching carousel

Like vindictive recriminations through the hourglass, these are the Sundays of Our Lives.

Welcome Back, Bad T.O.

In the Cowboys' 26-24 loss to the Redskins, Terrell Owens was targeted by Tony Romo 18 times, or once for every one of Owens's mood swings over the course of a three-hour game.

But that wasn't enough for T.O., who finished with seven catches and a TD. In a postgame interview Owens complained that all too often when he was coming out of his break the ball had already been thrown to someone else. Oh, the indignity! I guess he wanted to be thrown to on half or all of the team's plays instead of just one-third.

Owens' former coach Bill Parcells was fond of saying "you are what you are" when it came to evaluating players. This fatalistic assessment didn't leave a whole lot of room for wild divergences from a player's accepted station in the NFL. But it failed to take into account the Sybil-like range of a player like Owens, who is what he is except when he is something different altogether.

When a player's multiple personalities run the gamut from teary, "he's my teammate, he's my quarterback" cries of the heart to the solipsistic "I love me some me," his organization should understand that it is being held hostage by the whimsy of a guy who has thrown two previous Pro Bowl quarterbacks under the bus. T.O. reminded the Cowboys that he can blow it all up any time he wants.

Maybe Owens owns himself in fantasy football and lost by one point last week. That might explain his frustration. Fantasy owners better hope they are not going up against Owens this week because you know Romo will be force-feeding him against the wretched Bengals.

Just Cause or Just Cuz?

As if getting fired wasn't a miserable enough experience, poor Lane Kiffin got the ax and then had to endure his former employer making the case for "cause" in a widely televised press conference, which for some reason Kiffin watched with his wife. This took the ugly, unpleasant events of the last month to a whole new level.

The only silver lining on an otherwise black day for the former coach of the Silver and Black is that his adversary in this case proved to be so utterly creepy and detached from reality that Kiffin benefits by merely seeming sane.

I've compared Al Davis to Uncle Junior on the psych ward, but I now realize that that's not totally accurate because there was always the slight suggestion that part of Uncle Junior's dementia was a performance to avoid prosecution for shooting Tony. Not so with the General Partner of the Oakland Raiders. He has lost it.

I'm sure he believes he knows what he's doing, but Davis has hardly been vindicated by the way he treats his coaches. Mike Shanahan and Jon Gruden have won titles at their next stops and Norv Turner took the Chargers to the AFC title game last year. Someone should hire Kiffin just for the instant karma push it would give their team.

As for Davis, why anyone would accept a job under him is beyond me. His presentation this week — complete with overhead projector — was a pathetic attempt to retroactively build a case against Kiffin. It veered wildly back and forth between football reasons — the insistence on signing of DeAngelo Hall, for example — to unsubstantiated ad hominem attacks on the coach's character.

Lane Kiffin went to work every day, and with him at the helm the Raiders were showing slow but steady improvement. They doubled their win total from two to four in Kiffin's first season and would likely be 3-1 this season if JaMarcus Russell hadn't been rammed down Kiffin's throat by Davis. It's one thing to insist on playing a raw No. 1 overall pick, but to also expect that team to win right away is not just ludicrous but a sure sign that you no longer understand the game.

Good luck trying to cling to the money you owe your former coach, Al. Don't know if you've heard, but you can't take it with you.

Ricky, Lose That Number

In another challenge to the wit and wisdom of Parcells, Ricky Williams has decided that he no longer wants to be what he was — the poster child for weed and wasted potential.

Lost in the considerable shadow of Ronnie Brown's historic day trampling the Patriots in Week 3 was a 16-carry, 98-yard effort by Williams. The fallen star has clearly gotten himself ready to play football. But was he ready to not play football?

When told he would have three days off during the Dolphins' bye week, Williams' mind immediately went to what he used to do on a day off.

"So there was definitely an urge," he told the Miami Herald. "But I just thought about what I have to lose and it was easy. The urge didn't last very long.''

And why would it when you could just as easily sit with your legs crossed, breathing and freeing your mind of desire?

''I've done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,'' Williams said. "So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.''

Om namo guru dev namo sure beats the alternative.

Oh, Henry

Where were you when you heard Travis Henry had been caught in a drug sting and arrested for conspiring to distribute cocaine? I'm sure you were floored by the news. There are some stops along an NFL journey that just seem preordained: LaDainian Tomlinson arriving in Canton; Kurt Warner landing on IR (inevitable with that woe-line); and Travis Henry running afoul of the law.

One month after Henry was released by the Broncos in June it was revealed he had once again tested positive for marijuana. This after having won an appeal to the league that his previous positive test for pot was erroneous. The Broncos maintain that they were unaware of his latest failed test and impending suspension when they released him for what Mike Shanahan described as being "just too inconsistent as a person." One could argue that Henry is too consistent. Be it pot or paternity, the father of nine children by nine women always tests positive.

With no football income and "significant financial issues" according to his lawyer, the circumstances were right for Henry to make the latest in a long line of bad decisions.

If you're paying attention, Al Davis, this is what grounds for termination looks like.

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