And now the football world watches with bated breath to see how effective Jerry Jones' cleanup crew will be in hushing up witnesses, the bodyguard, police and hotel staff so that the NFL can continue to pretend TuPacman is stable enough to remain a cast member on Jones' reality TV show.

My money is on Jerry Jones. Terence Newman is out for at least the next month and a half with a sports hernia. The NFC East is the most talented and competitive division in football. Jerry Jones believes he can't win the Super Bowl without TuPacman.

The Cowboys will concoct a very elaborate story exonerating TuPacman.

At some point today, I expect the bodyguard to take full responsibility for the scrap and argue that TuPacman was really acting as a peacekeeper. One of TuPacman's attorneys, speaking to an ESPN reporter, stated that he's "not satisfied anything has happened."

Wow, I haven't heard anything that lame since the night I lost my virginity. Hey, that was decades ago. I've improved. I swear!

The police incidents that involve Adam Jones usually end with victims declining to press charges, friends taking responsibility for the drugs or charges being dismissed. TuPacman just happens to have the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time on a consistent basis.

It's just bad luck mixed with a little racial profiling. That's it.

Dallas Cowboys News News » Only Goodell can judge Pacman
Only Goodell can judge Pacman
The insanity of employing a professional football player who needs 24-hour protection from his own mental imbalance just reared its ugly little head like Putin over Alaskan airspace. Adam "Pacman" Jones, according to Dallas police, brawled Wednesday night with one of the four bodyguards Cowboys owner Jerry Jones hired to stop TuPacman from running afoul of the law. Late hit by Pacman Adam "Pacman" Jones got into a fight with his bodyguard at a Dallas hotel early Wednesday morning, the day before a scheduled team meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Jerry Jones is probably willing to continue employing off-duty cops to protect TuPacman from himself. Jerry might even retain the bodyguards during the offseason. But we've just been offered evidence that TuPacman will attack his protectors.

Like the Alaskan Airhead, there's little difference between TuPacman and a pit bull. You never know when they'll explode and turn on their owner.

Goodell should intervene on behalf of Jerry and Adam Jones.

If a grown man or woman needs 24-hour surveillance, it's an indication they're the president of the United States, incarcerated or dangerously unstable. Of the three, there are just two legitimate options for TuPacman Jones.

Goodell needs to give Adam Jones two options: 1. Retire from the NFL and head to the CFL or start a rap career; 2. Enter an intensive, year-round counseling and life-management program and return to the NFL next season.

TuPacman's 2008 season should be over and his NFL career should be finished until he aggressively deals with his demons. The league, Jerry Jones, Deion Sanders, Jim Brown and many others have tried to reach out to Adam Jones and mentor him. He's not interested. He's in denial. He's a ticking bomb. We've seen this before with Lawrence Phillips. We know how this story ends.

This is way too high risk for Jerry Jones and the NFL. What happens if one of Jerry Jones' paid bodyguards has to take significant, potentially lethal action against Adam Jones (or one of his friends) the next time he's enraged?

You can e-mail Jason Whitlock at Ballstate68@aol.com.