When this little tradition began in 2005, its stated purpose was to call attention to the sports world's most notable achievement in gobblerhood. There were early visions that the phenomenon would someday evolve into a primetime TV event, complete with tuxedos and low-cut evening gowns and gift bags filled with iPods, Gucci fragrances and Stove Top stuffing, but those plans never materialized.

Turns out, people thought the Page 2 Turkey Awards were somehow mean-spirited. So to change that image, this year's ceremony will take a different, more sympathetic approach, one employed by governors, presidents and kind-hearted farmers for decades.

This year, every turkey will be pardoned.

So good news, winners - you're free to waddle into 2009 and make every bit the fool of yourself you did in the past year. But remember, just because these guys are being spared from the chopping block, it doesn't mean you'd want to make a pet out of any of the winners, including:

Chris Jessie: In last December's Holiday Bowl, Mack Brown's stepson proved the old Thanksgiving-dinner axiom about your eyes being bigger than your stomach. Jessie reached for a treat - in this case, a Football that was still in play - which he shouldn't have, and wound up with a result even more embarrassing than a few extra post-holiday pounds.

Adam "Pacman" Jones: A perennial contender at these awards, Jones is to The Turkeys what Russell Crowe is to The Oscars. And you don't want to mess with either one of them in a hotel bathroom.

Tatum Bell: In one of the committee's favorite stories of the year, Bell was accused of stealing the luggage of the running back that replaced him on the Detroit Lions' roster. Bell, who had just been cut, was caught on security cameras lifting Rudi Johnson's bags from the team practice facility. When the luggage was returned, it was empty. And somewhere, a family flying to see Grandma and Grandpa for Thanksgiving is having precisely the same experience.

Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury: This is the lifetime achievement portion of the show, but it's difficult to produce because we can't get these two guys to agree to be on stage at the same time. Marbury keeps asking people to get in the truck with him. And Thomas is still trying to convince us that his daughter deserves all the credit.

Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee: For secretly tape-recording each other's phone conversations, for saving used syringes and soda cans, for talking about breast implants and bloody buttocks on Capitol Hill, for "misremembering" so many details, for issuing outrageous denials, and for becoming the two most unlikable personalities in this despicable steroids controversy - for all of that, and more, the Turkey Awards are forever indebted to both of you.

Chris Cooley: When you say you didn't realize exactly what was in the corner of the frame when you sat at your desk naked, took a picture of the playbook in your lap and posted it on your blog about playing tight end for the Washington Redskins , we believe you.

Sure we do.

Super Hugo: Yes, that stunt the New Orleans Hornet mascot pulled, attempting to jump through a ring of fire early in Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinals, made a mess of the arena floor when multiple fire extinguishers couldn't put it out. Yes, it caused a long delay to allow for cleanup, and provided the NBA with another embarrassment, and absolutely killed the innocent sportswriters trying to make deadline.

But it did make us laugh. And because of that, it can be said without a doubt that there was no bigger turkey this year than a purple, teal and gold insect.